Things have been rough for me emotionally and mentally, lately.
I had been feeling like success was just about to happen with the oooShinyNetwork and I was so happy about it. Then circumstances changed and I found myself no longer able to be a stay at home dad.
Luckily, I was quickly able to get a full-time job. One that once I’m comfortable in will be a lot of fun for me and should give me the chance to advance.
Unfortunately, it has meant that I’ve lost a lot of my writing time. The Network has gone from 20-30 articles a day, to struggling to get 10. And that is something I’m very much struggling with, as I want to be doing more not less.
It seems like every time I’m getting somewhere with writing, something happens to get in the way. Every time this happens I struggle with the doubt of whether I should be writing or not. But I love writing. It is such a strong passion for me. I can’t give it up.
Right now, I’m trying to find a new balance that lets me deal with two full-time jobs, one of which I love and the other of which is a financial necessity.
However, it isn’t just my writing that is having time taken from it. I’m spending less time with my kids. That is a definite reality of no longer being a stay at home parent. I miss my girls and refuse to not spend time with them. They are another full-time job and to me the most important one.
I’m facing triple time duty and somehow need to find a way to balance all three so that I don’t lose any of them.
It is going to be a struggle. There will be days where I’ll be working all day long and barely have any time for either the girls or writing. Those will be very hard as I really don’t like that option at all. My days off will also be a struggle as I’ll need to write and spend time with the girls, but will also need my own recuperation time.
I find myself, as usual, just looking to God for the answers. Knowing I could make this a lot easier by stopping writing, but knowing how devastated that would make me feel. Am I overextended with eleven sites? Yes. But how do I choose which to cut, for now?
This is the reality I have for now. I’m hoping to be able to look back at this and see that I overcame the struggle without losing anything along the way.