Today was a tough day. I ended up stranded on the side of the freeway, for three hours, with my fourteen month old, when our water pump went out. It was hard on me, and it was hard on her, which made it all the harder for me to deal with. I did my best to keep her happy, even in the unfortunate situation we found ourselves in, but I felt so helpless.
Helpless is not something I enjoy feeling, but it has been something I’ve felt several times. When she was sick and needed to go to the ER, was one of those times. A few years ago when I was homeless and couldn’t get a job, was another. Fifteen years ago when I was sick, missing weeks of school, only to find out about my liver disorder and lost my dream of being in the military was a huge one that still impacts my thinking.
A key thing, that keeps me going, is that I’ve not truly ever been hopeless. There have been times that I’ve given up hope on specific things. I have had to give up my hope in certain relationships, in being in the military, in playing baseball professionally, in many earthly things. But hope was never actually taken from me, I had simply placed it in something that wasn’t to be. I had to look with hope, to the future, to get to the better things. Until I got there, there were times when that hope was all I had.
Hope is what sustains us as people. The hope for something good, something better, something new. Often it seems like life is simply trying to grind us down, and we are in a constant battle against it’s oppression of who we want to be.
Day in and out we see evil around us in the world, and all too often it is winning. Whether it be through a backstabbing person succeeding ahead of us, a young child being taken from the world before they could even take their first external breath, or a government using chemical weapons against it’s own people. It can be hard to keep that hope of good and improvement in our hearts.
My favorite movie tells us that rebellions are based on hope. Living with hope is a rebellion against the darkness trying to overtake our life. Maintaining hope is a rebellion in the face of oppression, of any form. Hope is what makes us who we are. Without hope, we die. Hope is life.
Remember that the next time that you feel helpless. There is always hope.